Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) Power and Control Factors: Including LGBTQIA+ and Immigration components.

Nov 2

Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is when an individual in a relationship uses a mixture of tactics to gain and maintain Power and Control in the relationship. These tactics include but are not limited to using intimidation, using emotional abuse, using isolation, minimizing/denying/blaming, using children, using your societal privileges (ex: gender, race, SES), using economic abuse, and using coercion.

Below we will be going through each of these 8 tactics giving examples of how they are used (trigger warning).

USING INTIMIDATION

Making you afraid or unsafe by using looks, gestures, or actions;
Smashing things;
Damaging property;
Abusing pets;
Displaying weapons.
Using looks, actions, and gestures to reinforce homophobic, bi-phobic, or transphobic control

USING EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Putting you down;
Making you feel bad about yourselves;
Calling you names;
Making you think you’re crazy (Gaslighting)
Playing mind games;
Humiliating you;
Making you feel guilty for things.
Lying about your immigration status.
Writing to your family and telling lies about you.
Calling you racist names.
Questioning if you are a "real" lesbian, "real" man, "real" woman, "real" femme, "real" butch, etc.
Reinforcing internalized homophobia, biphobia, or transphobia

USING ISOLATION

Controlling
- what they do,
- who they talk to and see,
- what they read, and
- where they go;
Limiting your outside involvement;
Using jealousy to justify actions.
Isolating you from friends, family, or anyone who speaks your language.
Not allowing you to learn English.
Saying no one will believe you, especially not if you are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or trans
Not letting you go anywhere alone

MINIMIZING, DENYING, AND BLAMING

Making light of the abuse
Saying it didn't happen
Shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
Saying it is your fault, you deserved it accusing you of "mutual abuse"
Saying women can't abuse women/ men can't abuse men
Saying it's just "fighting," not abuse
Failing to file papers to legalize your immigration status, withdrawing or threatening to withdraw papers filed for your residency.

USING CHILDREN

Making you feel guilty about the children;
Using the children to relay messages;
Using visitation to harass you;
Threatening to take away the children;
Using the children as pawns.
Threatening to take your children away from the U.S.
Threatening to reported you to immigration and keep the children.
Threatening to report your children to the immigration authorities.
Threatening to tell your ex-spouse or authorities that you are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or trans so they will take the children

USING PRIVILEGE

Treating you like a servant
Making all the big decisions
Being the one to define roles
Using privilege to
- discredit you,
- put you in danger,
- cut off access to resources,
- or use the system against you
Acting like the “Master of the Castle.”
Calling you a prostitute or “mail order” spouse.
Puts on legal papers that you have a history of prostitution.
Using privilege or ability to "pass" to discredit you, put you in danger, cut off your access to resources, or use the system against you

USING ECONOMIC ABUSE

Preventing you from getting a job;
Making you ask for money;
Interfering with work or education;
Using your credit cards without permission;
Not working and requiring you to provide support;
Keeping your name off joint assets.
Hiding or destroying important papers (passports, ID cards, health-care cards, etc.).
Destroying your only property from your country of origin.
Threatening to report you if you work “under the table.”
Not letting you get a job training or schooling.

USING COERCION AND THREATS